The Seattle Police Department, ahead of the parade celebrating the Seattle Seahawks’ Super Bowl victory, took an unprecedented step by jokingly declaring a “general mobilization” of all dedicated fans known as the “12th Man.” In an official statement styled as a memo, the law enforcement agency called attendance at the celebratory procession “mandatory” and even provided fans with a ready-made excuse note for their bosses and teachers. The document says that with all available police resources being deployed in anticipation of up to a million people, the presence of all “certified” team supporters is required.
In his address, Sergeant Patrick Michaux humorously explained the “operational necessity” of the call-up. To remedy a “critical shortage of decibels in the city center,” fans were “tasked” with rhythmically chanting “Sea-Hawks!” to “ensure the structural integrity of the city.” A strict “dress code” was also announced: for the safety of low-flying birds, all those “drafted” are required to wear the team’s bright green jerseys. The police warned that after completing the mission, citizens will likely be hoarse and will “carry a faint scent of victory.”
For skeptical employers, the memo included tongue-in-cheek but stern penalties: a “15-yard penalty” on the company’s next quarterly report, continuous playback of the song “Safety Dance” over office speakers, and a “severe sidelong glare” from the team mascot known as Blitz. In closing, the police urged fans to print the note, present it to their managers, and take to the streets—because their team and their city need them.
Based on: Seattle police ‘draft’ all fans to attend Seahawks Super Bowl parade