In light of tougher immigration enforcement in the U.S., many parents are facing a difficult question: how to explain alarming news about arrests, family separations and protests to their children. Recent incidents in the Seattle area — for example, a father detained while dropping a child off at daycare — have pushed schools and families to find ways to address the topic. It’s important to note that Seattle and the state of Washington generally follow more protective policies toward immigrants than many other parts of the country. Seattle is a “sanctuary city,” where local police typically do not cooperate with federal immigration authorities except in cases involving serious crimes. Child development specialists, therapists and lawyers offer concrete guidance to parents on how to have these conversations, whether it’s the first time or a repeat discussion.
Experts, including child psychotherapists in Seattle, advise approaching the conversation intentionally. It’s important to prepare yourself so you can be emotionally available for your child. The priority is not to frighten but to inform and support, helping children feel safe during uncertain times. Many schools in Seattle, especially in the largest district, Seattle Public Schools, have already developed specific protocols for immigration raids. Those protocols include barring immigration agents from school grounds without a warrant, procedures to protect student and family privacy, and plans for psychological support.
Before starting the conversation, parents should pause and calm themselves. Child therapist Christina Alexander, who is a mom herself, recommends managing your emotions before discussing difficult topics. For example, don’t begin the talk immediately after watching disturbing news on social media. A calm adult helps create a safe atmosphere for the child.
Choose a place where the child feels relaxed and comfortable for the conversation: at home, in a park or in a library. Seattle public libraries intentionally position themselves as neutral, safe spaces for everyone regardless of immigration status. They have a policy against immigration enforcement on their premises without a court order and provide free access to information and resources. Speak in a calm tone, without the background noise of news. Some children find it easier to talk while on a walk; others prefer a quiet activity. For neurodivergent teens who may find face-to-face contact overwhelming, a phone call from different rooms or even texting may work better.
Rather than one long, heavy talk, experts recommend several short, “bite-sized” conversations. This lets children gradually process the information and ask new questions as news develops. That approach, therapist Harmony Raveler notes, helps kids make sense of events better than one exhaustive conversation.
Follow the child’s lead: ask what they already know or have heard about immigration. This lets you correct misunderstandings. Be honest, but don’t overload children with unnecessary or frightening details they may not be ready for. Children can understand more than you might think and cope with difficult emotions if they feel supported. Parents should know that organizations in Seattle actively help families facing raids. These include the Northwest Immigrant Rights Project, which provides legal assistance; the Washington Immigrant Solidarity Network, which coordinates rapid response; and Colectiva Legal del Pueblo, which works with the Latino community.
Creating a concrete safety plan helps reduce anxiety. For younger children that might be a card in their backpack with parents’ contact information; for older children, a memorized trusted adult’s address. Explain, in simple and age-appropriate language, what might happen and who will take care of them. The key message: “You are not alone; there is a plan and people who will help.”
The ultimate goal of these conversations is not to secure agreement but to strengthen emotional connection and trust. If a teen expresses an opinion different from yours, it may be a sign they feel safe enough to be honest with you. It’s important that children know they are loved, that they can argue with you, and share any feelings.
These tips are meant to help parents have difficult but necessary conversations so that when children encounter worrying information, they feel protected, understood and supported by the people closest to them.
Based on: Talking to your kids about ICE activity? Experts share 6 tips